Out!

This day marks another fun-filled day of my life. I have officially joined lookbook and chictopia. Who else should I blame? This is all your fault, Leny, my beautiful influence. Hahaha!

And so finally, here is my first photo uploaded for both sites.

I hope that I will have more photos to share soon. Gotta fill my closet with more clothes that will inspire the fashionista out of me. Ciao!

Cheers,

Chard Lora

I React! - Poster Boy

Unknown to you, I love watching movies regardless of genres, although I specifically like watching horror and suspense/thriller. This next blog entry is actually a movie review (plus personally written synopsis) which I made last December 21, 2008. I originally posted this from my multiply account, but for apparent reasons, I was not able to pursue largely because I happen to forgot my log-in credentials. Boo me.

Anyways, I decided to have it imported in here, for the sake of letting you guys read the review that I have written. I also have decided to import some blog entries I have made there. Enjoy!

Note: This is now edited. But of course! Gone are the days where I tolerate my personal issues with grammar and styles of writing.

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Title of the Movie: Poster Boy

Genre: Romance, Politics, Gay-themed

This indie film talks about different aspects of reality: family, love (read: bromance), politics, and homosexuality. It revolves around the story of Henry, played by one of my most favorite actors Matt Newton (who starred as Armand in the movie "Queen of the Damned"), a closet gay son of a senator who in the story had filed again his candidacy for re-election. Notwithstanding the fact that his father, Jack Kray was opposed by many people, particularly student activists, Henry was forced by his dad to be part of his campaign for the senatorial seat in California. He was forced to be his dad's poster boy, seemingly to achieve the idea that the youth might actually participate in the forthcoming elections and to gain more supporters and voters through his son's persuasion. As a typical closet gay, Henry was not afraid of having sex to whomever he met at the dark alleys during nights, or at bars or streets of the city, unless these people know Henry to be a son of a senator, and reveal the information the morning after. He then met Anthony, am student activist and a member of the group which opposes Senator Kray and his deeds. Gay as he also is, Anthony was fond of having affair with anybody - until he met Henry one particular night. Upon the "org" realizing that Henry is the son of the senator, plus the fact that Anthony had a one night affair with him, they used Anthony to out Henry and publicize the fact that Henry is gay - one thing that they surely know would pent up the senator because he opposes homosexuality, along with AIDS. As Anthony and Henry's romance got deeper, without Henry still knowing that his partner is an activist, he had a plan of actually coming out on the day where his dad would render a speech on the university where he is studying. On the other side, Anthony is caught in between: whether to actually out Henry or to not involve or use Henry against the senator, just to have their relationship as smooth as possible. Then the speech day came, as well as the scandal broke out. Henry did what he had planned - of coming out by using Anthony (Henry kissed Anthony in front of the media while his dad is rendering his speech). All the while that Henry knew he succeeded also broke out the idea that the "org" where Anthony was in revealed accidentally in front of Henry, their plan of having Anthony "outing" Henry to his dad. At the end of the story, Henry and Anthony had their problem solved; while his dad had his heart broken, especially when his wife left him because of wrong principles and absolute political thinking.

Okay then, so how am I going to start this review? Lemme think.

I was surprised (really), to see a flick that actually has politics running around a gay-themed story. It was also frightening though, on my part, to initially thinking that it has real first-hand connections, as enlightened in the film. One thing for sure, my guesses aren't right; and I had to make myself finish the entire film to actually realize what homosexuality and politics have to do together in this movie.

There are but a number of things that I want to disclose regarding the film. A number of realizations that were discussed silently on my mind while I was watching the flick - some things that I can never brought up to anybody, especially if they haven't watched the film, nor if they don't have any idea what the film is all about. Sure is, i don't want to narrate the events that had happened (but I presented above some summary, own summary at that, of the movie itself.)

First, it seem as though that the movie was all about being someone that you aren't supposed to be, as far as your family is concerned, and as far as you same family holds some ideals that it upholds for its entire life. I would say that the senator was so really that closed one type - being that of someone that is highly ideological, as blanketed by the world and ideas of politics. Even his son and his wife were not actually "allowed" to be one whom they wanted to be, because of this and that. it was really annoying on the part of everyone under the senator's realm that they can't be who they wanted to be. Result: pretensions, closeting, masking, and most especially, doubting ones self. Henry is gay, and he's just not proud of being one. Why? Largely because of his dad. His dad was involved on some legislation that are practically classifying the society. His dad, as the story goes, has raised and put some measures to marginalizing people with AIDS and people that are admittedly homosexuals. So why would Henry bother to turn up the tables and proclaim his being gay if he knew for a fact that he would then be really going against the principles of his dad. As much as he loved his family, e don't want for it to happen. So even if he really didn't liked the idea of being into politics, he doesn't have any choice but to agree what his dad had asked him to do - to be his poster boy.

Second, the film tackles about the battle between LOVE and PRINCIPLES; the issue between how much you are willing to go fight for what you care for against how much you are willing to lose to pursue what you believed in. In the story, Anthony was a student activist - member of the group that basically is against to the senator's stint for re-election in the senatorial post. The group from where he belonged is really anti the ideals Senator Kray had proposed, and they don;t want to be subjugated again under his powers. But Anthony and Henry, in the story, seemed to have put their heart into flames together. Oh yes, they have fallen in love with each other, something that has happened after a one night stand during one party in the university they both attended. At first, Anthony didn't knew that he has the senator's son beside the bed that night, as he was only informed the day after. Soon he was used by his group to have Henry out himself in front of the viewing public, desired to happen on the day that the senator would render his speech in the university where they study at. opposing to this view, yet not confirming it to the group, Anthony pretended, in front of his group, that he was befriending Henry for that sake, notwithstanding the fact that he had fallen in love with the poster boy. After the scandal happened, it was a choice for Anthony either to stand on what their ideals are, or to fight for his love. Well, as the story goes (much as this is a romance film, and the story revolves around Anthony and Henry), Anthony and Henry had their reconciliation afterward. So, to cut the story short, love prevailed.

Last, the story also dwell on the idea of how the family should work on itself. Henry's family was really not the ideal one, though the members in this family seem to be somehow fortunate in their fields. It talks about the idea of how being what you really believe in would, at the end of the day, steal you out of your family. Isn't it that the family should be the one heaven that people are fond and of fun to always return for the comfort it renders? In the movie, it seemed to be the other way around. The same family turned into a hell because of the very people in it - a father who is blinded by all the principles he'd been fighting for, a mother who is very submissive and defenseless, and a son who cannot even show up what he really is because of fear and preoccupations. As much as I try to conceal the ideas being relayed onto me by the film, I believe that the family of Henry never had, or never will patch things up to somehow appease or regain the peace they had in their family. Even if his mother talked to the senator, I think, that isn't enough, considering all the odds that were unsurpassed before, and the problems that kept on badgering them as members of the said family, and as individuals by themselves.

In the end, I would like to share one line that Henry Kray said on the movie: issues are created to pit people to divide.


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There. My first ever blog-published 'movie review.' I hope people would learn some things from me and appreciate the movie itself.


Cheers,
Chard Lora

Never Let This Go

As promised, this blog entry will deal on what happened almost two weeks ago. Yup, with a permission coming from my friend, Ellie, let me recall the struggle we faced and the joy we felt when Tita Nita has been declared missing, and was found four days after.

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It was December 13, a very typical Monday afternoon. I was talking to Ellie through Twitter, asking her to come with me and spend time in Starbucks SM Fairview. We agreed to meet at around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and she also asked me to contact Adrian if he could join us. Luckily, Ehds (Adrian) agreed for he also thought that it was then the right time to tag her niece along to have her hair cut in Tony and Jackey. So we agreed to meet at Nayong Lourdes 1's entrance by 2:30pm.

While I was walking to get to the meeting place, I initially saw Leny's Kuya Michael walking from our village to theirs, humahangos. I didn't care, as I was excited to see Ehds and eventually get to the mall, like mainit kasi at gusto ko ng tumambay with them kasi sobrang bored to death na ako sa bahay. A few minutes after arriving at our meeting place, I saw Kuya Michael again, looking tired and really exhausted (as if he's been walking for like years). Then he asked me if I saw his sister, Ate Lizette, and I answered no. Initially, I thought, why would he be looking for he sister that afternoon? Did Ate Lizette ask Kuya Michael to wait for him there? But then again, I didn't put on a deal. Then I saw the jeepney where Ehds was riding on, and I took it too.

While on our way to the mall, I asked Ehds for an update about Leny's whereabouts. He answered by saying that Leny might not come for "nawawala si Tita". I laughed, for I was thinking that it was Tita Elena who was missing. I remember commenting that maybe Tita Elena was just somewhere, talking to somebody else she met in the street. I never thought that it was Tita Patricia, or Tita Nita as we call her, who was missing - which started by almost the same time I started waiting for Ehds on the village entrance. Then I put the pieces together, that it may have been the reason why I saw Kuya Michael walking to almost everywhere, and also looking for his ate; that the two of them have already started looking for Tita Nita.

We still pushed through going to the mall and had Ehds' niece's hair cut. We still pushed through going to Starbucks and bought some drinks. What did not push through was us spending more time there. We decided to take Reymie home, go to Leny's house and help her find Tita Nita that night. We met Leny and Cecil at the same village entrance that night. I suggested that we go to my house first so I could change my clothes and get a flashlight, which they agreed.

Our first stop to finding Tita Nita was Grand Cypress. Rumors had it that during that afternoon, Tita Nita was seen buying in the store in the subdivision across the highway. The information was verified by the village guard, but he added that after she bought eggs, she crossed the street and didn't know where she headed, either to the left (which may have earned her big chances of going back to their home) or right (which is the way to the greater part of our city). Not knowing where to go next, we decided to go to Tiosejo. It was dark, and no offense meant, the place was like those locations you'd find in movies where most serial killings or ghostly encounters happen. We didn't push through, afraid that something bad may happen to us. Then we started asking some people. There were people who claimed that they saw Tita Nita heading towards Grotto. Some people were just curious. Some where like this:

Ehds: Magtatanong lang po kung may nakita kayong babae, mga ganito kaliit, naka-gray na t-shirt and shorts na napadaan dito.

Leny: Kanina pa po kasi siyang hapon nawawala. May diperensiya po kasi siya sa pag-iisip. Baka nawala lang po sa isip kung paano uuwi.

Bystander: Nawawala po ba?

I was like, itatanong po ba namin kung nakita niyo kung kasama namin? Ano ba sa tingin niyo, nakalimutan niya na magkikita kami dito so hinahanap namin siya or naglalaro kami ng taguan?  

Following some leads, Leny's younger brother Sam and Ate Lizette went to Muzon to try and push their luck. Leny, Ehds, Cecil, and I even went to the barangay hall of Bgy. Graceville to file an incident report. And we even witnessed a kunwariang action scene (read: yung mamang tricycle driver, tinutukan nung maastang mama ng baril kasi kamuntikan na 'daw' mabangga, eh umusog lang naman yung tricycle driver).

Lucky us, we were able to spread out posters to help us find Tita Nita:

We did not find Tita Nita that night. End of day 1.

Day 2 went on without me. According to their stories, they even went inside Paradise, for there were information saying that she was found there, too. Quite contradicting at first, because if she was seen in Grotto-Muzon area, it would be impossible for her to be seen in Tungko-Paradise-Gumaok area without crossing the village where she lives; unless she took a jeep to Tungko, but no one even saw her going that way last night. Scary as hell though, they went to Igay from Paradise by walking alongside clear and vast land owned by some rich people. FYI, those lands where some of the most famous spots where dead or killed people were laid by brutal murderers or serial killers. They also saw a so-called abortion house, and some parts of the 'forest' where ghosts would usually appear and scare people out their wits.

Same like the second day, Day 3 went on without me. I woke up late and they were already at Sampol, in Sapang Palay, and it was really far from our place. Ehds told me not to come over since all of us are not familiar with the place, mahirap na at baka pati ako eh mawala at hanapin din nila.  Last thing I know, Tita Nita was near to them. Around 9pm, a police mobile escorted them with their car. They thought that the police will help them find Tita Nita that night, but they were wrong. They were actually escorted back to their house and were told not to go back to Sampol because it was already late. What was shocking and really frustrating was what happened 30 minutes after they were sent home. Someone, a concerned citizen, sent a text message to them that Tita Nita was found sleeping at the back of Puregold Jr. in Sampol. My friend and her family cannot go back there anymore because they were being guarded by the police. Thank you very much, Office of the Vice Mayor. Like, yeah, job well done.

It was Day 4 then, December 16. I woke up around noon, and started talking to Leny via Twitter. She was at school then and was planning to go back to Sampol since Ehds and her family, including her Aunt and cousin who came all the way from Laguna, went back there too to continue their hope of finding Tita Nita. I joined her, along with Cecil. To be perfectly honest, this was one of the longest nights of my life. Not minding of the hunger and thirst, we continued searching for possible information that will lead us to finding Tita Nita. Leny, Cecil and I even dared to go inside the dark streets of Area H, wishing that we'd find her with a certain Ate Leng. A child we asked told us that he saw Tita Nita being escorted by a certain Ate Leng going down the street beside Puregold Jr. But since we were not sure where exactly did they head, we dared to go to Area H. We reached the church but she wasn't there. We tried going to the barangay hall of Area H to file an incident report. We were even escorted to the other barangay hall near the place, only to find that some of our companions were already done filing a report and putting up posters of Tita Nita. We asked the Kagawad to escort us back to Puregold Jr. Funny and irritating, the Kagawad asked money from us, pampa-gas lang daw. Like yeah, kami pa pala ang may utang na loob. Pasensya naman sa pagkakawang-gawa mo dala ng obligasyon niyong tumulong at nagamit namin ang napaka-precious niyong gasolina.

After dinner, Leny, Ehds and I insisted of staying in Sampol for the rest of the night, thinking that maybe we will find Tita Nita walking around the place. Our first stop was in Puregold Jr.

We met Russell, a certain batang kalye whom we gave our baon (marujah) and spent time talking to. We then realized, according to his stories, that he left home last January. He was not even able to finish his schooling because his parents did not even care looking for him and bringing him back home. I personally felt the sorrow and the pain everyday caused him. Like, he was still young to endure all the pain life can bring. He wasn't wearing slippers then, so we told him that after finding Tita Nita, we will look for him before Christmas and buy him clothes and slippers. He went off to his friends to do their work for that night - collecting some items from the garbage, if I heard him right.

We decided to go back to the place where we ate dinner that was also near the Church of St. Joseph the Worker, thinking that Ate Leng might tag Tita Nita along with her and hear the mass of the rooster. It was nearing 4am that time, and I should be going home since I still have work. I called it quits when we arrived there. I left Leny and Ehds near the church even if I still don't want to. They patiently waited, until they decided to go home around 5am.

It was Friday morning then when someone contacted Leny's family that Tita Nita has been found. And yes, they did found Tita Nita. When Tita Elena and Kuya Michael went back to Sampol to fetch Tita Nita, they saw her wearing something else. The joy filled the place. If I would have been there, I don't know what to feel, what to say and what to do. Like I know Tita Nita and I are not blood related, but the feeling inside that you were there helping your friend find one of the most important persons in her and her family's life is something that makes me wonder what would have happen if we were not able to find her, never mind that it was nearing Christmas.

By the way, these are the people who found Tita Nita (not including the guy with a child):

And this is Tita Nita (the one in red, sitting) with her most beloved:

As per Tita Nita, it was not true that she bought eggs in Grand Cypress, and she has never been to Grotto that time. She bough some bread at a bakery outside the other village (the one near Paradise), then went to Sto. Cristo. She was even escorted by some police to Muzon because she said she hails in Nayong Lourdes, in Sta. Maria (we are in San Jose del Monte, and as far as I know, there is no Nayong Lourdes in Sta. Maria). From Muzon, she was able to go to Sampol where she spent the last days before we were able to find her.

As a friend, I can't help but be filled with joy after finding Tita Nita. Even if I was not the one who was able to have found her, the idea along that Tita Nita has been found was something to be glad of, never mind the fact that no one among us (Leny's family and friends) was able to find her but concerned and helpful strangers. Good Samaritans indeed.

Tita Nita is now recovering from the wounds she incurred from walking under the scorching heat of the sun and the cold windy and sometimes rainy night without food to eat and anything to drink for most of those five days she was not home.

I personally pray for her fast recovery and for this not to happen anymore, to her and to anyone. The experience of looking for someone who is not even totally related to you is let alone too hard to keep and to accept, how much more if the one that I'd be looking for soon is someone really close to my heart.

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After this whole experience, I have realized some fruitful things.

First, you will never know a person's worth until you have come to realize that s/he is gone and/or missing. Wait, I am not saying that Tita Nita has never been important to her family. What I am trying to convey here is the lesson it brought me about keeping my connections to my beloved intact and never compromised. Fine, I bear grudges to my father. I hated him, take note: hated. I hated him for all the pain he caused my mother. I hated him for causing me pain. I hated him for not proving that it will still be worth it for him to stay with us. I hated him for because of him, I will always have this constant craving for love and affection that only a father could give, even if his counterpart has given, is giving and is still ever willing to give her all. I hated him for the fact that he was the one who gave up. It should have been that way. But now that he has partly gone, for I can still see him if I want to, I ponder on the things that have been taken away from me when he left. I may not have lost a father entirely, but I have lost having a father with me. Yeah, it sucks to be me now. I may still be in denial to say that I don't miss my father, but I cannot deny the fact that I miss having a father.

Second, I have also learned that when you want something to achieve, you have to do everything. The way you chase your dreams is a make or break point that determines how high will you be able to achieve your heart's desire. I totally admire Leny for keeping the faith that Tita Nita will be found even when I have seen her mother almost broke down, losing hope. Her determination has taught me to strive more in order to do what I want to do and get what I need. Being the person who seems to be always afraid and hesitant, the whole experience taught me that there are times that you have to swallow everything and do things you have to do in order to get what you want, without still stepping on other person's mark. I will always be grateful to Leny and her family for allowing me to take part to this wonderful experience.

Lastly, I have learned the value of patience and waiting for the right time. This is incidental when I learned the value of pushing yourself to the limits when you want something to be achieved.  That, even if you do everything, exhausted every little ounce of strength, passion, determination and resources that you might drain, if it is not the right time... it will never come. The whole experience was a journey that taught me to patiently wait and keep my faith unto the Lord and His mercy.

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Oooops. I think I have become too melo-dramatic here. My apologies.

All in all, I was so happy that Tita Nita has been found and was able to celebrate Christmas with Leny and her family. I hope that Tita Nita will recover fully sooner or later.

Hmmm... I am still not sure of what to write on my next blog post, although I have few things at the back of my mind. Maybe I would have to keep you all thinking. Until next time!

Cheers,

Chard Lora

The Unplanned Morato Night

There really are some things that money can't buy - friendship, happiness, accomplishments and even grief and sorrow. But for the other things, let's talk about it with a cup, or should I say cups of coffee.

Seriously, it was a first on my end to be particularly fanatic of Starbucks. Blame its 2012 planner, it made me spent much almost everyday and I just don't know why. It was probably because of the thrill and excitement, and also maybe for the sense of fulfillment when the day came that I actually have redeemed my first... and second planner.

Say hello to Spruce and Bamboo! <3

I got my Spruce (my first ever Starbucks Planner... EVER!) last November 9. Yeah, just almost a week since the promo began. Put the blame on my office mates Stef, Andrea and Rahne. It was fortunate of me though to have it since I really am a busy person, i.e. school, work, community, family, church and friends. So I was really thankful, and thought of collecting another set of stickers for another planner.

Thank you Starbucks (Happy Birthday too!) for your awesome treat. If it was not for your promo, I would have waited for another three days or a week to finally get my second planner. For the record, I got my second planner last night, at Starbucks Tomas Morato (the one near California Berry). But prior to that, I was in Starbucks SM Fairview, for that was my original plan - to have two Christmas Featured Drink and get my planner. But Stef and Andrea are on Morato that time, and I really wanted some company. So I went there.

While having friendly conversations over some grande and venti cups of frappes and tea, we decided to have something to eat. We craved for dry noodles but cannot go to North Park in Visayas Ave. because it was not practical, we ended half-decided to go Burger Machine. But I remembered munching a buy 1 take 1 triple patty burger the night before, so I insisted on looking to more places. And so we walked. Poor Andrea, she was like a probinsiyana who just arrived to Quezon City for the very first time, walking half-dead, totally tired. We saw Hotshots and eventually gave it a try.

It was kinda fast food but not. How will I describe the place? Hmmm. The place offers burger of different variants and sauces, i.e. wasabi sauce, caramelized onions, garlic cheese, and others; as well as fries, rice meals which they called "surp-rice" and pasta (spaghetti, hot & spicy, pasta con tuna). I ordered pasta con tuna while Stef had hot & spicy, which she said was really spicy. The pasta served came with a piece of garlic bread that we really enjoyed a lot. We even (thanks to Andrea) asked the store crews if the bread was on sale too, even if they are not included in the menu. Also, we ordered Burgeritos. They are three pieces of mini-burgers per order, which lettuce, tomato and onions. By the way, Andrea had a bottle of beer. I dared not follow.

Pasta Con Tuna. Yummy! =)) But... where were the tuna chunks?

The food was truly delicious, especially the mini-burgers. I remembered asking Stef that after eating the mini-burger, there was this feeling in me that urges me to order another round of burger, to which this time it shouldn't be a Burgerito anymore.

We stayed there until close to midnight. Then I went home, did my bedtime ritual and finally dozed off to sleep.

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On my next blog entry, I will relate this super thrilling and wonderful experience of finding a missing person... after the person has been found. Please keep on praying with me that Tita Nita will be found soon. Thanks!

Cheers,

Chard Lora

Circa 1961

Oh well, it has been two weeks since my last 'real' blog post. And I have to make bawi. Like, I really have to.

These past few weeks has been totally busy on my part. School and work, plus family and friends,are really turning my whole life in tables.

Two Sundays ago, I went to SM Fairview, particularly Book Sale, in my quest of looking for books related to my graduate studies. After spending almost an hour, for I was waiting for Stef to come, I was able to find and buy two books - not related to my studies though. One was about "how to effectively teach English Literature" (like I am not really aiming to become a Litt teacher, though I bought it anyway) and another was a fiction (almost magical, i.e. Harry Potter-ish) novel titled "Otto Hush." I went to National Book Store afterwards, still waiting for Stef. I was browsing through the book shelf of books related to Education (specifically Historical, Philosophical and Legal Foundations of Education) when I accidentally saw a book entitled "School Administration and Supervision." Oh yes! Oh yes! I was so happy to found the book, because one of the courses I am taking now is actually Educational Administration and Supervision, and I don't have any reference books for that at home. So I checked on the price, and it was only P280, good find I thought. Obviously, I bought it. Not thinking of anything that will make me regret buying it. All I was thinking back then was the real big help it would serve me for advanced readings and being it my main reference.

Now, let's talk about how I totally regretted buying this.

I have this tendency that whenever I do researches and look for references, I disregard books that were published earlier than 2005, or should I say 2000. Talk about time relevance. When I got home, I skimmed through the pages of the book that I bought, and (surprise! surprise!) the book was a oh-my-effin-gawd-1961-are-you-for-real-edition. I was like @_@. 'Nuff said.

I was like, "what happened to the world?" Le sigh.

I am still hoping that this book is a blessing in disguise. Who knows, I might be really able to use this, sooner or later.

By the way, our Graduate School will be having our Christmas Party on Sunday. Yes, my first ever Christmas Party for this year. I am really excited and looking forward for a happy and fun-filled bonding with my classmates and to other students from other post-graduate degrees. I wish that the P250.00 "hostaged" contribution is all worth it. I am also praying that I will win in the raffle, kahit OLFU jacket man lang.

Also, I will be going to Zambales on Sunday. Yeah right, after school. Company outing on a beach - on a very cold December.

Cheers to a happy Yuletide season,

Chard Lora